Love Languages: How They Can Help Any Relationship

Many people know that communication is key in any relationship, but there are plenty of people who don’t communicate well with their loved ones. There are also various kinds of relationships that could be improved overall. Taking a quiz with the people you love on what your love languages are could help those problems.

There are five love languages:

  1. Words of Affirmation: Phrases involving compliments and words of encouragement are what the people in this category enjoy most from the people they love.

  2. Acts of Service: Whether you do something small like make your loved one tea or something big like driving three hours to pick them up when their car broke down, the people in this category appreciate when their loved ones do something for them.

  3. Receiving Gifts: Just like Acts of Service, whether the gift is small or big, the people in this category appreciate any gift and will see it as a way of showing them love.

  4. Quality Time: The people who fall under this category just want to know they can have your undivided attention every once in a while. You can sit in silence together and the person under this category wouldn’t even mind because you’ve taken the time to be with them.

  5. Physical Touch: The people in this category feel loved through simple actions such as hugging, holding hands and even just resting your head on their shoulder. Even if someone you know falls under this category, know the appropriate kind of physical touch they’d like or want from you. Don’t assume they like any kind of physical touch.

Now that you’ve gotten a quick rundown of each love language, you’re probably wondering, “How can this help me?”

Well, knowing what you can do for your loved one to make sure they know they’re loved would help in many ways. It would build your relationship with that person by showing them you know how they like to be treated as well as helping you feel more comfortable with communicating other things you may or may not like. Seeing the effort you’ve put in to show them the right kind of love based on their love language will make them want to do the same for you. It can help create a healthy “give and take” kind of relationship, if that’s not something you already have.

If your mom falls under the “Words of Affirmation” category, tell her every compliment that pops up in your head. Sometimes people have kind things to say, but decide not to say them. For this person, just say every positive thought you have of them when you have that thought––”I appreciate how you came to all of my basketball games in high school”, “I like your new perfume smell”, “You make the best french toast in the world”, etc. If you think it, just say it.

If your boyfriend falls under the “Acts of Service” category, do as many favors (that are reasonable) as you can. Literally anything will count. If they ask, “Hey, can you plug my phone in?” and you do it, that’s an act of service. If they’re stuck in a meeting and haven’t eaten all day, and you show up to drop off food for them, that’s an act of service. Anything that will take a little weight off of the person’s shoulders is appreciated.

If your best friend falls under the “Receiving Gifts” category, make everything seem like a gift. The people in this category tend to like surprises, and surprises can seem like a gift. Your best friend has been needing a good black pen for the past week. You happened to be at Walmart and saw a black pen you think they’d like. You give it to them, and that counts as a gift to them. If you know they love Arizona teas, you can get them one randomly, and that counts as a gift. This category sounds like they’d be hard to please, but the “gift” doesn’t have to be extravagant.

If your brother falls under the “Quality Time” category, spend any time you can with them. If you’re a busy person, try to schedule a day to play games or go bowling or whatever you know your brother likes to do. If you’re not a busy person, hangout with them any chance you get. If you see your brother watching TV in the living room, sit down and watch with him. If you noticed he’s been eating pizza rolls all week, ask if he’d like to go to the grocery store with you and make a real meal when you get back. For this person, you just have to show them that you’re willing to make time for them.

If you made a new friend and they tell you their love language is “Physical Touch”, ask them what kind of physical touch they like. Knowing this is crucial, because although they might like it generally, there are some places that might be a no-go zone for them. Some people don’t like being grabbed by the arm or getting touched by another person’s feet––you have to find out the specifics. If your new friend happens to be crying, you could probably comfort them best with a hug rather than words, gifts or getting them to watch something on Netflix because you know their love language is “Physical Touch”. The person under this category likes physical touch, but know where the lines are and when the best time to do it is.

See all of the ways you can implement love languages in your life? Taking this simple quiz helps you and those who take it with you understand what each of you needs to feel loved, and can help lead to conversations of what you don’t like as well. This could help create a stronger connection between you, your family, friends and significant others in an easy, comfortable way.

Give it a try. Take the quiz to find out what your primary love language is:

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